MLB has no winners when nobody knows how to play

Forgive the indelicate analogy, but I can do no better. To watch big league baseball has become like watching a poor soul who has contracted some mysterious affliction that diminishes ambulatory capabilities and clarity of thought.

In just a few innings Wednesday, what was seen on SNY, then on YES from both New York and Chicago teams was more of the same: a great sport in senseless decline. Everyone who knows Mike Trout from gefilte fish now knows it except those calling the shots.

The 10th-inning resumption Wednesday of Tuesday’s Mets-Cubs corresponded to a game in decomposition, inside to out.

Jason Heyward — signed by the Cubs for what this year will pay him, egads, $28 million after seasons with the Braves and Cardinals in which he reliably reached base and stole bases — batted with two out in the 10th, runner on first. He struck out on three pitches — the last two big, body-jerking swings in pursuit of the new normal: trying to hit a home run or strike out trying.

After strike two, Ron Darling said Heyward has a “long swing,” which, he suggested “prevents him from becoming the effective offensive player he wanted to be.” We got his drift.

In the bottom of the 11th, Javier Baez led off with a walk. Then, when Mets reliever Paul Sewald slipped fielding a sacrifice bunt then threw past first, Baez, who even in the postseason hasn’t been interested in running to first, at first stopped at second.

He didn’t know or care to know that the ball had not yet been fielded, that making third would be easy and, as Darling and Gary Cohen noted after Baez finally woke up, he might’ve scored the game-ender had he paid attention.

So with none out, the Mets loaded the bases with Cubs on an intentional walk. Albert Almora was next. On a 1-1 pitch — Sewald forced to throw strikes — he swung like a madman, fouling the ball away with a swing designed to electrocute those who operate launch-angle and exit-velocity meters.

Then Almora took strike three down the middle.

So the Mets backed up to double-play depth, shortstop Amed Rosario, who has demonstrated unawareness as a base runner and fielder, playing toward second.

And when Ben Zobrist lined one toward the middle, the Mets had a shot — a long shot — to turn two. But as was seen and Darling, flabbergasted, said, Rosario barely made a move toward the ball.

The not-quite 11-inning game totaled 27 strikeouts. Yet again, only one of two teams playing losing baseball could lose.

That night’s White Sox-Yankees was another to cause ticket-buyers’ remorse.

A 4-1 Chicago win, the winner had six hits but struck out 10 times; the Yanks had six hits, striking out eight times. The only batter who didn’t appear to try to hit a home run was throwback send-down Ronald Torreyes, the .300 hitter batter who batted ninth. His line drive-single drove in the Yanks’ only run.

Chicago made it 4-1 on Ryan LaMarre’s opposite-field homer that landed one-row “deep” in right.

David Cone then hinted at the kind of truth that can cause unhappiness in Yanks’ and YES management:

“LaMarre’s second career home run … this one of the Yankee Stadium variety.”

Might he have meant that the Stadium favors expensive players who hit cheap home runs that land in expensive seats?

The game was unusual only in that seven pitchers threw rather than the new-standard 10, 11 or 12.

They’re killing this game, and I can’t come up with even one logical reason. You?

NCAA teams ‘buying’ wins for bowl eligibility

A tradition is born: Duquesne’s NCAA second-division football team, because the money’s right, will travel from Pittsburgh to a planned slaughter at Hawaii on Sept. 22. Duquesne last year was paid $275,000 to lose, 63-15, at UMass.

And as the student-athlete season begins we’ll soon hear TV’s hype-obligated pushing games with “bowl eligibility” gold to mine, eligibility often predicated on wins against schools paid to lose.

Locally, Big Ten, Big Deficit Rutgers begins Saturday, at home against Texas State, 4-20 the past two seasons, but still a must-buy game for season-ticket suckers.

Caution: Last season Rutgers — having paid Eastern Michigan $860,000 to travel Piscataway, N.J., to lose — lost 16-13.


For all the rotten messages ESPN delivers throughout the Little League World Series, it of course blew a shot to emphasize a good one during Sunday’s final on ABC.

With two out, South Korea’s right fielder made a terrific catch of a pop fly he grabbed at the last instant as his focus had been shared with the backpedaling second baseman.

As the kid ran toward his dugout, Hawaii’s runner from second gave him a pat on the back. Perhaps because it wasn’t a bat-flip, ESPN ignored it.

‘Walk-off’ can’t top ‘winner’

Don’t know who at YES decided Yankees telecasts should drown in visual and spoken stats — we tuned in to watch — but enough!


At the moment the Cubs, at home, beat the Mets in 11 innings Wednesday, Gary Cohen suffered a relapse. He said Ben Zobrist had the “game-winning hit.” Oh, so that’s what Cohen and dozens of others called it before it became “walk-off this” and “walk-off that.”


Great news for Jets PSL suckers: The team has offered them the chance to buy additional season tickets, no PSLs attached! Still can’t understand how the Jets and Roger Goodell escaped their demonstrably bogus sells of PSLs.


In just moments Tuesday, WFAN’s Chris Carlin and Maggie Gray spoke several coarse expressions connected to “ass,” including the one preceded by “kiss my.” Not that we’re unfamiliar with such, but as a matter of class and common decency in a public forum, they seemed eager to make a cheap splash.


Former head of MSG Network Mike McCarthy has been hired to head the Cubs’ self-owned TV network, proposed to launch after next season. Good for Cubs fans. McCarthy gets it.


Analysis of the Week: ESPN’s Jessica Mendoza, who Sunday explained during a replay how the Yankees’ Luke Voit hit a home run: “Look at him let this ball travel!”


Nauseating ESPN/Disney cross-promo of the week: Monday during ESPN’s White Sox-Yanks, breaking news! Analyst Tim Kurkjian and Chicago starter Carlos Rodon were born on Dec. 10. To that shared birthdate was added Raven-Symone, from Disney Channel’s “That’s So Raven,” followed by the booth’s claim to love that show!


I refuse to buy Mike Francesa’s app until he returns the retirement gift I sent him.

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